I just finished reading a wonderful book called, A Friend Like Henry by Nuala Gardner. It’s the story of a family with an autistic son and how a dog opened up the boy’s world and in turn theirs. Here is a link to a review: http://www.5minutesforbooks.com/211/a-friend-like-henry/. Now really the only experience I’ve had with autistic children would be babysitting an autistic boy in high school once. I do remember I was really impressed with his knowledge of cars (you could point to any car and he could tell you what make and model it was at the age of 5 maybe 6). I do remember it being a challenge compared to other children but at the time when they told me he was autistic I had no idea what that meant. Since dating Jo I’ve been able to learn more about autism and even more about kids with Aspergers.

Reading the first few chapters I was overwhelmed with what Dale’s parents had to go through, physically and mentally and said to Jo that I don’t know if I could handle it. The great thing about Jo is she is able to make something that seems impossible to deal with possible. She informed me about all the ways one can cope, the strategies one can take to minimize meltdowns, the ways to help the child cope. As I continued reading, I was impressed with how Dale’s parents adapted, and learned to set him up for success. I was truly impressed with how hard they fought for Dale be it in school or everyday life. And the dog lover in me was excited to read how Dale’s dog Henry really did open up his world. Henry was the first step and a huge foundation to the young man Dale becomes. And as you read, you can’t help but feel totally invested in the family and Dale’s journey. There were time I laughed and times I cried. The book just reeled me in. I started it before bed 2 nights ago and finished it today. If work didn’t get in the way I would have finished it the next day I’m sure. If you are looking for a good read I highly suggest this book. Just be prepared to no want to put it down.

IF YOU WANT TO READ THIS BOOK BUT DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS STOP HERE!!!

The end of the book made me sob (no kidding, I was sobbing). Everyone knows a book about an animal and a kid means the animal is going to die at the end. Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows, Marley & Me, A Good Dog, etc. Really the only book I can think of that doesn’t end this way would be The Incredible Journey. So going into this book I was expecting Henry to die at some point. Because I was so invested in the family, I was really worried how it would affect Dale. What I wasn’t worried about was how it would affect me. The description of Henry’s last year or two and especially the last few weeks of his life reminded me so much of my dog Cassie’s last year/days. When you have a dog, and it is your best friend, your confidant, your companion, to see it suffer and be helpless to ease the pain is a horrible feeling. There is the selfish part of you that doesn’t want to make the decision you know you must make because you don’t want to be without your buddy. In the end, you know you have to put your feelings aside because it kills you to see your dog hurt so much but none the less struggle to get up and greet you at the door. So you make the decision because you know in the end you are doing what is best for your friend. And when you watch the life go out of her eyes you finally know she is at peace and that she no longer has to endure the pain…she no longer has to be strong for you. I will never forget when Cassie died. The light just left her eyes and at that moment she was gone. You can’t forget seeing life extinguished like that. Maybe some people think it is stupid to feel this way about an animal. But I don’t care. I loved that dog as I do my friends and family. She was my family. And while she may not have changed my life like Henry did Dale’s, she made me laugh, she cheered me up, she listened to me and she gave me so many wonderful memories. So to all the Cassies and Henrys out there living or gone…..Thank you.

I want a donut.  But that won’t be enough.  I want 17 donuts and that still wont be enough.  Because it’s that kind of day.  Not in all things, just in work.  The kind of day where you need something to make work easier, to make it run smoothly, to make work….well work.  I thought maybe a donut would do that mostly because they make me so happy sometimes.  But I know deep down that all the donut will do is make me feel like a fat kid.  Sometimes eating healthy can be so boring because sometimes what you want is a donut packed with shit that’s bad for you.  And when you get it, you realize that it wasn’t enough….because you crave more.  More sugar, more chocolate.  So what I want will never be enough on this kind of day.

Yesterday what I wanted was to close my eyes.  So I took a nap.  That was enough (granted it made me sleep like crap last night…but at the time..it was enough).  I finished a book last night because I wanted to read for a change of pace but it wasn’t enough…i didn’t want the story to end.  I wanted to read on and on and on but that’s the way it goes with good books…its never enough.

This blog sounds rather depressing I realize.  But I’m not depressed, just thoughtful.  I’m still going to get that donut even though I know how it will make me feel.  But for the few seconds that I have it and all the yummy goodness, it will be enough.  After it is gone, I’ll just have to deal with wanting more.

I was informed that it has been a long time since I updated my blog.  And you know what?  It has been.  So here we GOOOOOOOO

The Wedding:

Amazing.  I really felt the whole time that I should have been running into Jay Z or Paris Hilton or someone along those lines.  I mean this was the fanciest event I have ever been to.  I’m talking free booze, but not just any booze, top of the line.  One of the bartenders actual asked Jo if Patron was ok for her drink.  Umm yeah.  I had 3 or 4 glasses of Dom Pérignon because I’m guessing I will never be able to afford a glass again.  And they had lots of bottles.  Steak and Lobster for dinner.  A cold-stone ice cream bar.  A band that has played the Grammys (the horn section has played with Earth, Wind and Fire).  A sushi bar.  3 bars made of ice.  The beer bar had 15+ selections of all kinds of specialty beers.  Like I said amazing.  But the best part by far was the sky after the rain cleared.  It was straight out of a romantic movie.  The photographers were peeing their pants, that’s how amazing it was.  When pictures come out, I will hopefully be able to post at least one.  I mean a sky like that for a wedding probably only happen once in a blue moon.  It was such a fun time.  And yes, I was extremely hung over the next day.  A two breakfast, stay in bed, stuff myself with food but still feel like I’m starving kind of Sunday.  But well worth it.  We closed that party down!

On the Road Again:

After the wedding, it was time to hit the road again.  Instead of a leisurely trip to the east coast, we booked it across.  We drove a little bit out of the way to check out Mt. Rushmore.  Lucky for us, a thunder, lightening and hail storm blew in right as we got there.  So I hopped out of the car, took a picture, got soaked, and back in the car.  Then we headed to the Bad Lands.  A really neat place.  It reminded me a lot of Bryce Canyon in Utah.  Then we stopped at Wall Drug.  Pretty crazy place.  Hard to describe.  Probably best to just look it up if you want to know more.  It started as a drug store and now its a tourist trap, the size of a city block or two with stores, and food and such.  The thing is, as soon as you get into South Dakota, you see signs every mile or two on the side of the road for the place…so you kind of have to stop…you really have no choice.  We got to stay at some pretty “sweet” hotels on the way out in Mitchell (didn’t get to see the Corn Palace cuz we got there around 10pm), in Chicago, and in Niagara Falls.  The place in Niagara had a chapel attached to it…we almost tied the knot but decided to go eat instead.  Niagara Falls was pretty cool.  We had $10 in Canadian that we wanted to get rid of, so I took Jo into her first casino to play the slots.  Good times.  It only took us 20mins to blow through the ten bucks but we had fun doing it.  Then we just booked it to Somerville.  Minus a run in with a jackass of a toll booth guy in NY we had a pretty great trip.  Btw, for those of us from the west coast, just because one state will let you pay a toll with a card, doesn’t mean NY will.  And instead of just telling you how to go about paying the toll when you get home, they will try to scare you and then make fun of your middle name…so just play it safe, make sure you have at least $20 to cover your tolls.

Somerville, MA:

As I’m writing this, the heavens have opened up and the sky is booming  When it rains here it is no joke.  I mean if you step outside you are soaked.  Here it is go big or go home.  No drizzles.  We are talking either downpour or don’t rain.  Also the humidity is pretty crazy.  Its only been bad a few times since we have been here but its the kind of thing where you take a shower and after your shower you are sweating like a pig and bam you want to take another shower.  

Our apartment is awesome.  It feels like a real home.  We are in a great location close to lots of stuff and only 4 blocks from where Jo takes classes.  Jo started school last week.  So far so good  Working from home has been a lot better than I expected.  I feel I’m actually more productive here because I have at least 3 hours of uninterrupted time to get work done.

Yesterday night I had my first night of hockey 101.  I’m finally following my childhood dream and learning how to play hockey.  I had a lot of fun and there were lots of frustrating moments (I don’t really know how to stop…grrr) but I think that with more time and more skating I’ll catch on.  I think I might make some friends too in the process which is great news for me.  Jo and I joined a gym about a 5 min walk from the house and we have been going at least 3 times a week.  So hopefully with the hockey and the gym and the eating better I’ll be able to drop a few pounds.  And actually i went to the doctor yesterday, and I’ve dropped 10 pounds since the last time I was at the doctor (hooray).

Jo and were able to finally make our way into the city last weekend.  My first trip on the T.  I felt like a real new englander.  We have been up to Maine and I’m sure we will find our way up again soon.  This Friday we see Dar Williams in a little theater in Somerville which I’m looking forward to.

So that’s the update.  I hope to have some pictures up someday when time allows.  If anyone wants to come visit, we have an extra room and an air mattress to boot!

Hello Friends! Here is an update from our travels!

First stop was Mount St. Helens (very cool to see the blow and what has happened since the 80s). It was also our first night camping at a wonderful little campground called Beaver Bay (hehe). Next we were off to Cannon Beach OR (beautiful beach, huge haystacks). Jess got to skim board and Jo got a little time in the sun. We continued on to John Day Fossil Beds in central Oregon (crazy fossils, blue/red lava hills). We hiked into a blue natural amphitheater and spent many ridiculous minutes trying to get the two of us in a picture while balancing the camera on signs and lava formations. Next, we swung by Craters of the Moon in Idaho. (ridiculous landscape of hardened lava flow and super cool lava tubes that you can crawl down into with headlamps). Onwards to Jackson! This is a cute town with a western flair and antler archways. From here we headed up through the Grand Tetons (stopping to take some pics and look for animals). We continued on to Yellowstone which was to be our home for the next two nights. Yellowstone was amazing! We saw bison, antelope, elk, deer, A BEAR, osprey, and lots of ground squirrels and chipmunks. Oh yeah, we also saw Old Faithful and some other cool lava/natural formations (did you know that Yellowstone is one huge super volcano?) We are currently in Bozeman (well just outside it in the hills in a sweet “cabin”) which will be our home for the next week. Today we got to go off-roading near Cat’s house (my brother’s fiancee) and chase cows and see creepy murder houses and get attacked by grasshoppers!

Besides some minor car trouble (my turbo engine stopped working so going up a hill at 20 mph is pushing it…which is hard needless to say when you are crossing many passes. Ex. Teton pass, 10% grade, us traveling up it with flashers on trying to maintain 15 mph.), weather (huge wind/rain storm in Cannon beach the first day), and scheduling trouble (we thought we were a day ahead of schedule but we were not…the road does weird things to you…) things are going smoothly!

Until next time!

Jess and Jo

Well today is our last “free” day before all the wedding stuff starts happening. We are hanging out at the cabin waiting to run errands (and waiting for Jo’s car to get out of the shop). Yesterday was mostly running around getting food for the BBQ and doing more wedding related tasks. I did make an apple crisp for dessert that was pretty scrumptious if I do say so myself.

I’m looking forward to going fly fishing for the first time tomorrow. I guess we will be in boats of some kind, and each boat will have two people and a guide. I just hope I don’t end up getting my fish hook stuck in Jo’s lip..or mine for that matter.

Friday we will be going golfing and there will also be the rehearsal dinner. I guess after the dinner will be a reception in downtown Bozeman. So that should be fun.

Speaking of Bozeman, this is a cute little town. The Main Street area with all the shops is really nice. We have spent sometime there (eating mostly). I really like the area. I can see why people love living here. I don’t think I would turn down a ranch out here if someone was offering.

Well I think we are getting ready to get going on some errands. Stay tuned for more from the wedding and eventually the road.

Well we leave for the East Coast a week from tomorrow.  The last 4 weeks have flown by almost in a blur but they have been so great, that the memories stay with me.  Jo and I have been scrambling to do all the things we have wanted to do in our time here but haven’t taken the time in the past.  We have been busy with working and packing and trying to fit it all in.  Where to start….

Pride: What a great weekend.  It started with the beer garden at the Rose on Friday.  We ran into friends, met the ones we were expecting to see, and we drank some alcohol.  Saturday was spent in the sunshine on the hill buying very gay things, eating food, playing in the water laying on the grass.  Then we participated in the Dyke march, but only up to the liquor store, where we took a detour to purchase some nips.  Then off to Hero’s for some dinner and more drinking.  I even remember how horrible my allergies were, and how they basically forced me to call it an early night…so no Cherry for me and Jo.  Sunday found us marching with the Breakers in the parade.  It was amazing.  More so than last year.  The weather was great and everyone was in great spirits.  After the parade off to Zeeks for some pizza and then off to the fountain.  Got to hang out with the Beefs and Tara and Nikole, and of course Jo.  There was much dancing in the fountain and laughing and hugging and taking in the sun.  It was so amazing to just see the sheer number of people, having fun, dancing, smiling, hugging, kissing and accepting each other.  I don’t think I saw one unhappy face that day.  And to top off the weekend, we went to a storm game, and they won.

Canoeing on Lake Washington: We rented a canoe from UW and heading out on the lake.  It was so cool and was my first canoe experience.  We saw lots of baby ducks and lots of big ducks and some geese.  The weather was great, the company better…good times.

4th of July: Right on the lake, right in front of the barge, with great people.  It was pretty amazing and there were a number of times where I thought nothing will ever beat this 4th for the best ever.  You have not lived until you have had fireworks explode right over your head….its….crazy cool/scary.

Olympic Peninsula: Camping up at Lake Crescent was good fun.  Smores and asshole, beers and laughing.  Being a mere 20 feet from a deer (maybe even closer)…baby ducks…ice cream cookies and fires.  Then we were off to the coast.  We camped at Mora beach.  Took a trip to the Hoh rainforest for a short hike and picnic lunch by the river.  Had a yummy dinner, played some Trivial Pursuit and then more games by the fire.   On the way home, Jo and I decided to drive down the coast and around.  So many beautiful beaches and fun rocks to climb.  I was glad we got to see it all together…oh yeah don’t forget Dairy Queen for a treat

BBQ at Tasha’s: Tasha has work people over to her house for a goodbye bbq of sorts.  Lets just say that 5 of us killed a bottle of grey goose and 3 bottles of wine.  We had good food and lots and lots of laughs.  It was so great to be able to spend time with Tasha and Ryan and my work friends before leaving.

Barney Time and Family Time: Saturday found me hung over after the BBQ.  Made my way home and met Barney to take things to the Goodwill and my dresser home to my mom.  We made it to my Mom’s house, dropped off the dresser, set up the dvd player and stereo for mom, and then headed off to Barney’s house.  We got to her house, put the roof racks on, loaded up the kayaks and then we were off to the public boat launch in Gig Harbor.  It was my first time kayaking and it was sooo much fun.  I felt so safe with Barney there and it was so nice to just float and talk and spend that quality time together.  We finally turned back, got some drink fixins and some snacks, made an amazing dinner, went through pictures and watched a movie.  I’m so glad that I was able to spend a whole day with Barney.  I’m really going to miss having her near me (not to say I won’t miss my other friends too because I will…Barney and I have just spent a lot of time together over the last couple years).

Sunday I spent with my mom, sister and brother painting the laundry room.  Then Mom, Rayna and I went to see Mamma Mia.  It was funny and def worth seeing.  And then my mom drove me back to Seattle and we got to talk and spent time together just the two of us.  I said goodbye to my brother and I worry that I will never see him again.  I hope that’s not the case.  I can’t remember if I told him that I love him.  I hope I did.

And now I’m in my last week of work before my 3 week vacation.  Trying to get everything tied up, packed up, loaded up.  Actually Jo is doing most of the work which makes me feel bad.  I want to help but I can’t take this week off.  I’m excited for this adventure to begin….but now its time for me to head out to the ballpark for the Mariners vs Red Sox game.  Go Sox!

Well we only have 22 days left in Seattle.  The past few weeks have been wonderful.  I have had the opportunity to hang out with a number of friends.  I had an amazing Pride weekend.  And my fourth of July was pretty freaking amazing too (right on the water, almost close enough to touch, where the fireworks looked as though they would fall on our heads).  Next weekend is a BBQ at my co-worker’s place and then off to the Olympic Peninsula for some camping in the rain forest and hopefully a day on the beach (with some skimboarding maybe).  The next weekend it might be a trip to the casino in Olympia and then maybe a little hiking at Rainer or St. Helens.  Then its our going away party and then we are off.

With all that on the weekends, the only time to pack with be during the weeks after work.  It is making things more stressful.  I would be lost without Jo.  She is my rock.  But we will get it done.  And today we been able to get much done.  Now I’m just taking a little Jess time while Jo gets some friends time before we leave.  Maybe I should just get a little more packing done or I could watch an episode of Weeds….what to do, what to do.

How fast do you have to fall, or is it how hard, or is it both?  These were the thoughts going through my mind on the bus the other day.  A woman got on the bus, and the whole time she sat there talking to herself and what I’m sure were the voices in her head.  A whole two sided conversation.  And she was getting kind of surly when she got off the bus.  Seeing her made me think of homeless people because I feel I see a lot of homeless people talking to themselves.  And it made me wonder is the talking a symptom of being homeless and losing everything?  Or did they come that way (for lack of better wording).  And then I thought, when someone becomes homeless, do they fall fast, hard or both?  Does it happen gradually or all at once.  Is it because of a tragedy or because of a lack of something?  It could happen to me I think.  It could happen because none of us really know what could happen when it really comes down to it.  I’m sure many of homeless people out there didn’t think that would ever happen to them.  Maybe that’s the danger.  If you think something could never happen to you, do you stop becoming vigilant in your life?  Is that the gradual fall?  You let things get out of hand, you stop concentrating, you stop caring until next thing you know, you have nothing but the clothes on your back and the clothes in your bag.  I don’t know that this particular blog has anything to do with anything.  I guess I just don’t want to forget that it could happen to me.  One day, due to events I cannot foresee, I could be asking you for spare change.  Maybe because I recognize that, I won’t let it happen.  I guess only time will tell.

If you know me, you know how much I love dogs. I’ve been home this afternoon and had the show “The Dog Whisperer” on while I worked. Now I’m just watching the show and they have a story about a dog that the person loved and had to put down. And the way she described it made me feel so sad about my dog Cassie. I remember when we put her down and to this day it breaks my heart. She was such a sweet dog. A great companion and friend. She was always would greet me at the door, sit and wait to be petted like a good girl. I remember how she would come into my room at home. First she would bang her head against the door to loosen it, then she would nudge it open with her head. Then she would stick her head in the room and wait to be invited in. Of course I would always say yes. She would nudge the door all the way open and come in the room. Then she would sit at the foot of the bed and stare at me. Most of the time I would invite her up onto the bed, but sometimes I would say something like “not today.” If that was the case, she would just lay down and go to sleep. I know that no other dog will come close to her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dream.

I want a dog now. I’ve wanted a dog for years. A black lab, has always been my dream dog. Maybe it is because one of our dogs, Dax, was a black lab mix. We were best friends and I took him to obedience training because he was possessive of food (and of course to just have some basic manners). Well he snapped at my sister and got her on the hand so he had to go. Cassie was a golden and I love those dogs but there is something about a black lab. I know that I have to be in the right place in my life to have a dog, and I know that time is not now. But I hope some day in the near future I will get the little dog I’ve been waiting for. I;ve waited for 12 years so far, I can wait a little more.  Until that time, I can always dream…..and I do.

Heading to Santa Cruz tonight to visit my Dad.  Should be a good time.  It’s going to be hot down there too, but I’ll be nice and close to the ocean so I can go cool off :)  Excited to see Dad.  Its been a couple months.  Tomorrow he has to work so Rayna and I will probably hang out at the beach (poor us).  I’m hoping to get a kind of nice skimboard that I can keep at my parent’s house so I’ll always have one there when I go visit.  There are supposed to be some pretty great beaches for skimming so I’m excited.  I plan on coming back sore and ready for summer.  Hopefully I’ll have some pictures to show/share and maybe even a video of me falling on my face (or not).